I wanted to like you.

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The good news is that I tried new things this summer.

I didn’t try new things all summer. I just tried new things recently.

But recently is better than never.

So it’s all good.

I took risks.

I mixed it up.

I got out of my comfort zone.

Mostly what I realized is that they call it a comfort zone for a reason…it’s comfortable and safe and comfortable.  And I really like those things.

And so, goodbye for now to the things I wanted to like but just couldn’t seem to get it up for.

Top Ten Things I Wanted to Like

[1] I wanted to like drinking a glass of wine at night. I love wine. And it relaxes me.  And it gives me just a bit of that ‘what the hell’ that I can’t get to on my own.

But I kept forgetting to drink the wine and then I felt bad in the morning when I realized I had missed yet another opportunity to relax.

[2] I wanted to like chocolate. I really, really, really wanted to like chocolate so I could have something simple and easily available to turn to in those times of being down.

But the sad truth is that I just didn’t get the chocolate gene.

[3] I wanted to like wearing my hair down. Because every time I see someone looking adorable with messy, stringy, bouncy hair, I think “That could be me!”

But alas, you know the rest.

[4] I wanted to like running into old friends. There are people I miss and really like and would like to see more.

But running into old friends was awful. Some of the old friends still have a beef with me, apparently. Or they just don’t like me.  I’m not sure which and it probably doesn’t matter.

But it’s old. It’s so old. It’s SO old.

And it ruined the joy of running into the couple of friends who might have been as happy to see me as I was to see them.

Ugh. People make life so hard.

[5] I wanted to like making new friends.

But so far I’m only at about 30%.

One out of three new people turns out to be really cool.  Two turn out to be meh.

But I love the one out of three.

Then again, maybe one out of three is a win.

This item might just be me not liking that I don’t have a 100% success rate in this department.

[6] I wanted to like leaving the house. But…no.

I don’t.

I don’t like leaving the house.

I really don’t like leaving the house.

[7] I wanted to like working in a coffee shop.

But…no. I don’t. At least not the way I used to.

[8] I wanted to like hearing live music.

And I did. I really did.

But I didn’t like the rest of the stuff – the going out part really stunk. I just wanted to be home.

[9] I wanted to like Roadies. I really, really, really wanted to like Roadies. It has so much I love in a tv show.  And it comes from the Creator of one of the best movies ever.

But no.

It doesn’t do it for me and I’m really sorry about that.

[10] I wanted to like corn tortillas.  I tried. I really, really, really tried.  I tried them every which way. I tried them with and without and hot and cold and crispy and soft and every other which way.

But alas, the corn tortillas just, well, you know….

But I shalt not cryeth over forgotten wine and abandoned corn tortillas.

Instead I will embrace all things loved. I will not despair over my failings or my inability to love certain things that normal people love.

I will embrace the woods, the heat, the dog, the coffee, the more coffee, the painting, the internet, the grapes.  I will embrace the sofa.

And when a chocolate commercial comes on tv, I won’t be sad that I can’t get a thrill from it.

And when I watch Ally McBeal reruns or Melrose Place, I will not pine for all of the choppy, swingy, sassy, sexy haircuts that I will never be able to have.

Because I’ve got coffee and I never have to leave home again.

Happy Sunday. I hope yours is full of the right mix of comfort and risk.

xoxoxo, d

One comment

  1. Donna – I don’t do so well leaving my comfort zone either. Especially lately, since only my bedroom is air conditioned! But one thing – don’t worry about trying to make friends with EVERYBODY. Anyone who ‘makes friends with everybody’ probably doesn’t have any actual friends! Will Rogers said, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” But he never said, “I never met a man I didn’t become friends with!” Smart man. ;—)

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